Pruning your Social Media Contact List
Today’s article contains a handy dandy guide on how you can trim your social media contact lists. Technically you don’t have to trim your contact lists, just like you don’t have to prune your landscaping. Overgrown and full of forgotten stuff is a good look for any fine home & network.
A quick scan through my list of LinkedIn connections made me realize that I don’t really recall about a third of my network. I used to be a lot less picky about connection requests, which means I now get to spend valuable TV time trimming my list of contacts down to a memorable level. Don’t worry though — if you’re reading this article then you’re safe. I’ve got a good idea who my tens of fans are.
Because I am a nerd supreme, I worked up a decision tree framework to help me decide who to keep and who to snip. And now you get to enjoy the nerdery too. Trim that list of business contacts down until you have a network solely made up of people you want to talk to again. We’ll focus on LinkedIn for now, but you can apply this to any social media network. Just replace “business contact” with “friend or family member I’m trying to avoid in real life”.
Answer a few simple questions and follow the steps. The decision tree is designed to work starting at the top, but you’re welcome to jump around if you wish (cue Excel geeks screaming about broken If/Then statements). It’s your connection list, you do you, boo boo.
The big question (aka the low bar): Do I vaguely remember this person and where we may have met?
- If yes, hang onto them and move on to the next step. If the answer is no, you can look at their profile or snip the connection. Watch out though, because if you aren’t incognito then they’ll know that you were looking at their profile. And that’s a good way to get stuck in the tar pits of polite, vague conversation. “Oh, hey man, how are you?” “Good, you and the family doing well in these I-forgot-this-has-happened-before times?” “Yeah, just keeping on keeping on.” “Have you talked with any of the old gang lately?” Bleh.
Do I like this person?
- If the answer is yes, keep them around for another step. If no, then ask a sub-question: Do I want to keep them around in case they get promoted at a company I like? It’s not a great reason, but it’s still a reason to stay connected.
Have you spoken to this contact in the last 3 years?
- If yes, then that’s a positive sign that you can stay amigos. If no, then here’s your sub-question: Do you feel slightly guilty about that? The answer will tell you that it’s either high time to say hello and eat a virtual lunch together, or it’s high time to wave farewell as the connection rides off into the sunset.
Do I care if this person has a birthday or gets a new job?
- If it feels a little odd sending a congratulations or happy birthday message, then that’s probably not someone that’s truly part of your social network. If you wouldn’t feel awkward, then hang on to them at least a little while longer.
Here’s a question for the sales professionals reading the article: Am I trying to sell this person something?
- Trick question — regular people hate it when strangers try to connect and then immediately start selling. Imagine you were at yoga class and the person next to you said, “do you want to get coffee?” And as soon as you say yes, they say “Great, here’s this car I’m selling, and you’d be a great person to talk to about it.” You would regret starting that conversation, and would avoid them in class until they found a new chump. You might even need to wear a disguise or stop going to class altogether. What a downward facing pain in the ass.
- Pro tip: Use InMail instead of trying to connect. Work your way up to the other person wanting to stay connected with you after the deal is done.
Does your contact send too many non-relevant posts or messages?
- If yes, then you’ve got an option besides severing ties. You can mute their activity instead of disconnecting. Of course, that just means you have a connection without the engagement, which isn’t exactly what a social network is for.
Is this a mutually beneficial connection?
- It’s a tougher call here. Ask yourself if you are the only one benefitting from the connection. If yes, then you’ll need to decide how you feel about that. I’m not here to set the rules on ethics (that would be fun for me though). My benchmark is always feeling for a twinge of guilt. My guts have a higher EQ than my brain.
- Keep in mind that it doesn’t take much to reciprocate a favor or good advice from someone. You could support one of their causes, promote something of theirs to your network, add an enthusiastic comment on their posts, etc. And that would make things more mutually beneficial.
Is this contact a family member that you’ve been avoiding on all other social media?
- It’s a toss-up here — keep them connected and mildly informed on your work life, or disconnect and have to tell your aunt Sheila why you don’t want to be LinkedIn friends anymore. If they made it this far, then you must like them at least a little. I’d hang on to them, if only for Grandma’s sake.
The most important question of all is of course: Do they write interesting articles on Medium? If the answer is yes, then that trumps all of the previous questions in the decision tree. You’ve got to keep them as a connection, so they won’t miss out on the (fool’s) gold that is This Writing Sucks. No one wants to miss out on the Suck. I should really trademark that.
-Philip
