Pay More Attention on Conference Calls

The people on the right look like they’re enjoying themselves in the days before video calls became standard.

Today’s article topic is a combination of a few different suggestions made by a few different people. One person wanted to talk about how no one seems to know how to listen anymore. Another wanted to talk about how to adapt to not being able to see body language on conference calls. A third wanted to talk about proper conference call etiquette. Since I’m fundamentally lazy (but the productive kind of lazy), I decided to tackle all three topics at the same time. I present to you an article about speaking and paying attention on conference calls. Just like dancing — it’s something that everyone thinks they’re good at but few actually are.

Advice for everyone:

• Make yourself heard. If you are naturally quiet, then get a little closer to the mic. If you’re loud, do the opposite. If you don’t know how you sound, ask the group or a trusted colleague who will tell you if you sound like a bullhorn or an angry moth. And if people are talking over you, make sure that you aren’t on mute.
• Slow down. Literally talk a little slower to help people understand what you’re saying. Add pauses in between thoughts to give someone else a chance to jump in.
• Limit the time you spend pontificating. Aim to talk in short bursts (two minutes max — any longer and you risk losing the crowd). Lord, some of you were born rambling men, but we’re all just trying to make a living and doing the best we can.
• Honor other people’s opinions. They may be entirely wrong, but they still deserve respect. Even your uncle who voted for the other guy. Stay respectful and make it clear that you expect the same respect from everyone else.

Advice for call hosts:

• Start the meeting on time. Punctuality is not a four letter word (obviously, I mean that’s got to be at least 10 letters). If someone joins late, have them reach out to one of their peers to get caught up. Starting the call late sends a signal that this is a casual meeting, and therefore time to slack off.
• Set a clear agenda and expectations on participation. If you need at least two comments before moving on from a topic, tell the audience. If you plan to talk about Sarah microwaving fish in the office, make sure Sarah is on the agenda. Participation is easier when you know the expectations.
• Tell people on your calls what Silence means If I ask a question, then the folks on the call who stay silent are signaling yes or agreement. If I’m presenting a fact to the group, then silence means that everyone understands the subject matter and I can move on. Here’s a perfect example of Silence meaning agreement — Picture you’re at home and you see your significant other sitting silently on the couch. You say “you’re mad at me, aren’t you” and they give you a silent stare. That’s them agreeing with you.
• That being said, make time for responses. It doesn’t count as agreement if you ask a question and then immediately move on. I go with the three second pause — it’s long enough to get off mute, but not so long that people start wondering if you got disconnected.
• Use your authority to break the silence or any looping arguments. Too much silence gets deafening — start calling on people to scare/wake them up. Arguments can be constructive, but they can turn on a dime. If it were a bar fight, you’d be telling them to take it outside. “Take it offline” is the polite way of saying “don’t bleed on my floor cause I don’t want to clean it up”.

Advice for call attendees:

• Be present. You joined the call for a reason, right? There are few things quite as annoying as completing an hour long conference call and learning that no one was paying attention. If you are reading an article on your phone, then you’re really not attending the call. Better to suddenly exclaim “Fluffy! Stop chewing on that Ethernet ca….” and then turn off your router.
• The mute button is a tool to be used sparingly. You want a good balance of not distracting the group, but having an open mic to participate. “But Philip”, you might say, “some people are loud breathers.” Yes, yes they are. Most call software services let you mute those people without causing offense. Or if you know them well, feel free to make a Darth Vader joke and see if they can take a hint.
• Pay attention to who is on the call with you. Sometimes the person you need drops off the call early. Other times you may want to throw someone under the bus, but just to be safe you should make sure they aren’t on the call. Knowing is half the battle. The other half is lifting with your legs to get a good toss-under-bus distance.
• Remember that the presenters on your calls are literally shouting into the void. We established in a previous article that most people just want to be heard. That goes double for the suckers volunteers who are presenting to you. So be a pal, and take yourself off mute to add your thoughts, ask a question, or just make appreciative noises. If you do, I guarantee you won’t have a meeting host stopping every 10 minutes to ask if everyone can still hear them.

The goal of any good conversation is to listen and be heard. Conference calls are no different. It’s more important now than ever before to stay actively engaged and support one another. So pay attention. Really hear what someone else is saying. Don’t spend another call entirely on mute. Interact with the call hosts the way you’d want someone to interact with you. The golden rule isn’t just for kindergartners; it applies to everyone. Even politicians.

-Philip