How to Keep it All Together

Leslie Nielsen was exactly the sort of man you wanted to solve mysteries, especially involving O.J.

Today’s topic is about how to keep it all together. This article marks the end of the “articles inspired by college friends” series. If we went to college together and you feel slighted that you didn’t get an article written about you, then send me a message and let me know where you’ve been for the last 20 years. Or, just pretend that a prior article was about you and then you’ll feel a little better.

You know how sitcoms sometimes have clip shows leading up to sweeps week? Where the writers obviously didn’t want to write a whole new script so they mostly write “remember that time when…” dialogue for the characters to spout and then they roll a clip of a previous show. I’m not saying that’s what this article is, but I’m also not saying that it’s not that. Confused? Good. Let’s talk about stuff you’ve heard before.

So no one told you life was going to be this way (clap clap clap clap). Life can be a real kick in the shorts sometimes. Just when you think you’re finally on top of things, the universe will remind you that the only constant is change. So how do you keep it all together? It’s easy — Just do all the things I’ve been telling you to do over the last year, all of the time. What’s that? You say you have neither the time nor the inclination to go read all of those articles again? You’d rather I just share the highlights? Fine, I can do that, but you’ll be missing out on all of the puns in their original habitats.

I’m going to group several topics together into collections, which will be in the order of importance to me. I’m open to debating the order with you, but I only accept arguments in the form of LinkedIn articles. This is a good time to ask yourself, did I read about that topic before, or just skim it and give it a thumbs up to make Philip happy? (thanks for the thumbs up by the way) Either way, this will remind you of at least a couple of topics that could use a second look.

Take care of yourself first.

• Stress is inevitable, but you get to decide how to react to stress. Remember that your body is hardwired to react to danger, and it can’t tell the difference between a bear and a boss with low blood sugar. And don’t forget to breathe.
• Exercise, even if it’s just at your desk. Carve out some time for physical activity and let your mind unclench. You can’t pay someone to exercise for you (at least not yet).
• It’s okay to ask for help / not be crucial. Be humble, no one ever got a trophy for not asking for help. In fact, they’ll probably like you more if they’ve done you a favor or two.
• Don’t postpone personal development. It’s easy to put off, hard to reschedule again. Only you can make you better (and prevent forest fires).
• While you’re getting better, make sure you advertise yourself. Better skills can result in better jobs, but only if people understand how great you are.

Control what you can control, influence what you can influence, and try not to fret about what you can’t (adopt a Stoic mindset).

• Don’t let the little things get you down. Just like the reaction to stress, you get to decide how to react to annoyances. And violence is rarely the correct answer, unless you’re dealing with stubborn machinery.
• Decide how you want to be seen and make it happen. You can’t control how others perceive you, but you can influence it.
• Respond appropriately. When something ticks you off, take a breath and determine which path would lead to a positive long-term outcome.
• Open up and let people see your softer side. Humans want to work with other humans, so you not showing emotions is the opposite of who your coworkers want to work with.
• Own your self worth. Everyone is great in their own way, and it doesn’t matter if other people don’t recognize it. Just remember to limit how loudly you proclaim your greatness (see perception changing above).

Think ahead. Have a destination in mind (for your job, your life, your family, etc.)

• Let yourself be passionate about something, and find a way to incorporate your passions into your work life.
• Start by imagining the ideal end result for yourself. Figure out what needs to happen to get there, and then what would need to happen for each of those steps to come true.
• While you’re setting those goals, make sure you’re setting yourself up for success. Creating SMART goals isn’t just for HR anymore.
• Don’t let obstacles get in your way. Think through what might stop you achieving your goals, and what you’ll do about it. Give ASHIT (a chance).
• Think ahead about what’s likely to happen in the future. You can be ready to take advantage of new waves if you’re already paddling in that direction.
• Know when to get out of the game. An achievable career destination is having enough money to enjoy life after work. You don’t have to work forever, unless you love what you do.

Help others as much as you can without sacrificing what you don’t want to sacrifice.

• Be present (in the moment). The majority of people want to be heard, and you can help them by actually listening to what they are saying (verbally and non-verbally).
• Pay attention and engage when you notice something worth mentioning. Most of us like to watch people, but I would wager that only a handful speak up to make someone else’s day brighter.
• Help out your coworkers. Corporate life is not a solo sport, regardless of what they teach in cutthroat MBA programs. Everyone will be better if they help everyone else.
• Motivate others the way you wish someone would motivate you. You don’t have to be a manager to be encouraging.
• If you are a manager, be someone’s favorite. It doesn’t take a lot of heavy lifting to go from a boss to a mentor. Plus you’ll get positive vibes from helping your employees. Win win.

Yeah, I know that’s a lot of articles. Keeping everything together requires a lot of things (namely, all of the things). Here’s the worst part — reading all of the articles doesn’t actually fix those things. You will have to apply what you learn to see any tangible benefit from what you read.

I don’t say that to bum you out, but rather to remind you about who is in control of your life. I can sum it up even better with two steps: 1) Decide to act, and 2) Act. That’s the simplest advice I can offer to help you take more control over your destiny. Everything else is just nuance. Maybe I should have led with that advice and cut this article length way down. (Note to self — single paragraph articles from now on).

-Philip