How to Bow Out Gracefully
I want to talk about how to bow out of your role gracefully. We’ve all had daydreams about leaving our job in a blaze of glory, two majestic middle fingers flying, and metaphorically burning bridges on the way out. (Don’t literally burn bridges on the way out — other people need to use that bridge). This article is not about how awesome that would be. This article is about how to stay cool and classy before and during your departure, plus how to maintain that metaphorical bridge after you’re gone. Yes, even if you worked with a bunch of jerks who wouldn’t know a good idea if it was sitting on their head.
Author’s note — these tips assume that you’ve made up your mind to leave, and will not entertain a counteroffer. If your mind isn’t completely made up, then your situation falls into the “potentially contentious negotiation” arena (i.e. a different article entirely). When you do make up your mind, continue reading below.
First things first — Tell your manager
They need to be the first to know, even if they’re part of that group of jerks (the scientific term is motherflockers). You should tell your manager in as live of a setting as you can get. Video calls, phone calls, stand outside their home window with a boom box; anything that lets you have a real-time conversation. Texts (or god forbid a voicemail) are not cool and classy. Be prepared to talk about why you’re leaving, if you want to say where you’re heading, and how much notice you’re willing to give. The more notice you give, the more positive the experience will be. Any other details are totally up to your discretion — only share what you want to share.
Follow up your live or nearly live meeting with a formal resignation letter. Keep it simple. At a minimum you should state that you’re leaving your role as of a certain date, and you’ll be assisting the team with the transition. If you feel up to it, this is a good spot to add any words of gratitude. There had to have been at least one bright spot, otherwise you would have left this job a long time ago. Keep in mind that this letter will get forwarded on to more people, so refrain from addressing it “Dear Fart Face”.
After you tell your manager, zip your lips
Don’t announce your departure to your peers, clients, Instagram followers, or anyone else until you have the narrative clear between you and your manager. Rumors get started very easily, and you don’t want to cause a panic due to wild speculation. No one wants a team full of nervous people frantically updating their resumes. Well, I guess our competition does, but that’s beside the point.
Let your manager share the correct narrative with your peers and clients as they see fit. You’ll get plenty of calls afterwards to find out if the news is true.
Time to start tying up loose ends
Okay, now the word is out and the countdown to your last day has begun. Start typing up notes on what you did all day (or at least what you were supposed to be doing all day). Don’t forget all the little details that tripped you up when you first started since your predecessor didn’t mention them (don’t be like that guy). If there is a replacement person identified, you could offer to train them before you go. If there isn’t a replacement, then you could train a few different people on a few different aspects of your job so at least someone will get to experience your role live.
It’s going to be very tempting to just coast during your final weeks — avoid the temptation. You’re going for classy, right? Classy people don’t leave messes for their teams to clean up, or “forget” to respond to the emails in your inbox.
Share your parting thoughts with the people you like
Some people choose to write a heartfelt note to the people they knew best, while others go for the gusto. For instance, if you wrote a newsletter for your company, you could use it as the vehicle for your thank you note to your colleagues. You could say that you enjoyed working with most of them, that most of them had a positive impact on your life, and that you’d think fondly about most of them in the future. You could also call out those happy moments where one or more of them did that thing and you had a lot of laughs. Or that one person who told that one joke that caused that one type of liquid to shoot out someone’s nose. Ah, those were some good, vague times. Or skip all that and just disappear one day & turn on your out of office. This maneuver is known as a bad idea, or what the Romans used to call “adickmove”.
As they say in show business, “Always leave them wanting more”. I thought about ending this note on a cliffhanger, but that just seemed too cliché. Instead, I’ll have to settle for the one thing I know you’ve all been waiting for.
