Cycles
This post is the 2nd in a 7 part experiment to see if I can post something new every day. I’m writing this at 8:00 PM, so there’s still a chance I’ll give up and go to bed, but you’ll never know. Except I just told you, so now I guess I really do have to finish it tonight.
The experiment is part of a virtuous cycle that I’m trying to get started. I’ve noticed that I feel more relaxed and creative the day I finish one of these posts. It also helps me get my thoughts out of the cavernous wasteland inside my head. Plus my wife tells me I’m generally even more hilarious those days too (I’m paraphrasing). So if I write every day, then I’ll feel upbeat, dominate whatever tasks I’m working on, and want to write better stuff than yesterday. It’s a no lose proposition, at least until my natural laziness reminds me that the couch is right over there. And the remote is just over there…
Since this post is about itself, I may as well break the fourth wall too. Hey, you. Yeah, you. The person/place/thing reading this article. Which cycles are you perpetuating? Are they virtuous or vicious cycles? If you’re unfamiliar with those terms, think positive and negative cycles. Do you stay up late in the evenings, so you sleep in the next morning, and then need more caffeine to get you going, which leads to more evening sleep delays? That would be a vicious cycle. It’s also what the majority of adults in America experience every day. Someone has to keep Lunesta and Starbucks in business.
Another vicious cycle I see fairly often is people get aggravated about what they read on social media, and then they seek out people who agree with them, which leads to a deepening divide in ideology because you can always find someone to amplify your particular echo chamber. (Did you like that call back to the political post from yesterday?)
The main problem I see is that human beings only seem to want to focus on the present. We forget that today is the result of what happened yesterday, and the day before, and the week before that. Tiny decisions compounding over time that led up to the exact moment that you get that promotion, or your sink backs up and causes a waterfall of nastiness. The typical thought is how great or terrible that day is. We don’t focus on all the little things that we did well at the office over the last 6 months, or our habit of frying a pound of bacon every night and pouring the grease down the drain (don’t do that by the way). Those tiny decisions have a way of tipping the scales one way or the other.
I want you to try something. Think about a goal you have (time to give ASHIT perhaps?).
Start working backwards. What is the small step right before that goal is accomplished? And the step before that? I want you to keep this phrase in your mind — “That step would be easy if I already did ____.” Look for ways to turn those steps into a reinforcing cycle. That vacation you want to take to Aruba would need to be paid for, which would be easier if you had a few thousand dollars to burn, which would be easy to get if you started saving a few bucks a day, which would be easy if you didn’t get a muffin with your coffee. Plus you probably want to look your best on the beach, which would be easier without those muffins contributing to your muffin top.
Here’s an example of the thought process I went through a while back. I wasn’t getting any younger (is anyone?), and I was tired of being tired (and fat. Don’t forget fat). I knew that exercising would make me feel better, but I definitely didn’t feel like exercising. I had to break down the mental wall that was keeping me from blasting my quads & toning my delts. I needed an incentive to get me going, which turned out to be an appreciative glance from my wife. She already thought that I was cute, per our marriage contract, but I really wanted the “mmmhmmm” moment. If I was going to get that, then I needed to be worthy of being treated as a piece of meat. And to do that, I needed to make an effort to eat better and move my body. Girls make passes at guys who get off their asses.
Virtuous cycles are all about making the better choices easier to make. They don’t have to be monumental leaps from standing still to running a marathon. Start small and think about what the decision you make now will allow you to do later. Later becomes a few days, and a few days become a habit that you won’t want to break. The cycle will be humming along nicely, and all you will need to do is decide not to stop. And don’t forget to help your friends and family with their cycles too. A well placed “mmmhmmm” can make all the difference.
